5 Years a Family!

Five years ago we became a family of three...

And now we've got someone graduating from kindergarten.  How time has flown. 

                            

We love this boy so much!

Happy Family Day to us!!

Our Journey - A Movie

To commemorate our Referral Day (fondly known as our referral-versary), October 2, 2009, I finally finished the movie of our journey to becoming a family of three!

It's been four years since we received our precious son's referral and we are still amazed and awed that we are together.  Every time I watch this movie, I remember all the emotions we went through on this journey.

I hope you enjoy this as much as we've enjoyed becoming a family.

Catch-up Post #2 - Certificate of Citizenship

So where did we leave off?  Oh, right, the beginning of August.  Wow, that was only four weeks ago, but it feels like it's been waaaay longer than that!

After we got back from camping, we finally got our notice in the mail for our appointment to pick up Boo's Certificate of Citizenship in Chicago.  We applied for this back in November, right before Thanksgiving.  To clarify, Boo has been an American citizen since we finalized his adoption at the beginning of November and he got issued his Illinois birth certificate.  But he was still considered a permanent resident by the government until/unless he obtained this Certificate of Citizenship.  This means, if we did not get Boo's certificate and he has his passport stolen while traveling outside of the US, it may be more difficult for him to prove his American citizenship.  Scary, huh??  Because of this, we felt that it was never an option not to get this important piece of paperwork for our son.

So in the middle of August, nine months from our application date, we drove up to Chicago and met a good friend of Chris' for lunch, who took this great picture of our family before proceeding to our appointment:

Once we got to the federal building for the appointment, Chris couldn't come inside with us.  He had automatically put his pocketknife in his pocket that morning like he does every morning, not thinking about the fact that we would have to go through a metal detector and, of course, you can't bring a knife, no matter how small, into a federal building!  So Boo and I went in and, after being directed to the wrong floor along with another family, finally made it to the correct window after about 20 minutes.  We then waited...and waited...and waited.  We probably sat there for about 45 minutes before getting our paperwork.  It really wasn't that bad, but I was expecting about a 10-15 minute wait after hearing about other family's experiences.  We did very briefly get to meet another family I "know" from the online adoption community who was there picking up their daughter's Certificate of Citizenship as well.  In the meantime, poor Chris had been told that he couldn't even wait in the air-conditioned lobby, that he would have to go outside, in the 90 degree weather, to wait for us.  There is no cell phone use in the building either, so we couldn't even let each other know what the other was doing.  Regardless, Boo and I got his paperwork, but no picture in front of the federal and state seals to commemorate the day; he was close to a meltdown and wouldn't stand still for me, so we went out to find Daddy and show him the certificate.  

He looked so handsome (as always!) and sooo grown up!!

What a special day for a special little boy!

First Gotcha Day Anniversary

It is hard to believe that I am actually, finally writing this post.  Today is the first anniversary of J's Gotcha Day!  That's right, he has now been home one. whole. year.  Wow.  It seems like both yesterday and forever ago that we had our second meeting with him and he was placed in our arms for forever.  It was an amazing, overwhelming day and just a tiny little bit scary about being handed a 13 1/2 month old and waved on our way.  But it's been a wonderful year, getting to know our son and adjusting to our new lives together.  J has attached extremely well to Chris and myself and has definitely become a true daddy's boy, which I love to see.

I have never written in detail about the day we first met Baby J and figured I should finally get it down here since this is going to be a kind of scrapbook for him.  After we arrived at the adoption agency and handed over the care packages that we had brought for other family's children, we were informed that J and his foster mother were not there yet.  We were led to a small room off the social worker's main room and asked us to fill out one piece of paper with our travel itinerary and passport information.  Yep, ONE final piece of paper - that was it - after months of reams of paperwork prior to that...a little anticlimactic.  Believe me, I was expecting to fill out much more!  While I was in the middle of doing that, Chris nudges me and says, "I think that's J and his foster mom!"  So what do you think I did?  Huh?  Can you guess?  Do you think I looked up from where I was gripping that pen until my knuckles turned white to get a first small glimpse of my son?  Do you think I jumped up from my chair to try and peek through the blinds that weren't quite open but weren't quite closed?  Yes?  Ha.  You're wrong.  My butt stayed glued to that chair and I continued to very carefully fill in the boxes on that one form with a shaking hand.  You know why?  I was afraid.  I was afraid that if I looked up it was going to be someone else's son out there and that would have been disappointing.  I was afraid that if I looked up it was going to be my son out there, yet I was not going to be able to go to him.  I was afraid of becoming a parent.  I was afraid of the imminent change that was about to transform my life.  But most of all, I was afraid of the change I knew was coming in J's life, the one he had no clue was going to happen.   No matter how many books you read on grieving, bonding, attachment, etc, and thinking "well, I'll help him through it by doing ____," it doesn't compare to actually having to go through it for real.  And I was afraid I wasn't going to be up to the challenge of helping him through it.

So, I didn't look.  And believe it or not, I'm glad I didn't.  Because the first time I saw J in person, I was able to drink him up with my eyes (is that weird?!).  I didn't have to settle for a swift glance of him through a window with him riding aboobah (on her back) in his carrier.  I was able to gaze and stare at him for as long as I wanted (well, for the hour we were there anyway!).  And I got video of that very first meeting when he and his foster mother walked into the room.  And I can watch it over. and over. and over.  She handed him right over to Chris, calling us omma and appa (mommy and daddy).  I think Chris and I were both smitten from that time on!  Not to say we weren't in love with him already, but once we saw that sweet little face in person and held him in our arms, well, we were done for.  And I knew I could face all my fears...for him.

It's interesting to look back on the pictures and video we have from our first meeting with J and see how much he's grown in just one year.  It's amazing how much he's picked up verbally and how quickly he started to understand what was said to him (although he still has selective hearing when he doesn't want to do something!).  We were lucky enough to be able to experience his first steps and watch him go from a crawling baby able to pull himself up and cruise along furniture to the toddler he is now that is running down the sidewalk in front of us when he asks to go on a walk.

These two videos are from the first day we met J, on May 24, 2010.  This following one shows how quickly he took to Chris; they were fascinated with one another from the get-go.

And then it was my turn to hold our son for the first time:

I always thought I would look be a mess that day, crying through everything.  But the weird thing is, it was so overwhelming and surreal and an over-the-top dream-come-true, that there wasn't time to shed those happy tears I had built up inside me.  There was so much to learn about our little guy from his foster mother and in such a short period of time.

The next video is from Gotcha Day, May 27, 2010.  This is at the hotel the evening we picked him up.  Even though he couldn't walk, he was into everything in our suite!  And still in a good mood.  No crying that night at all!!

These are the first steps I caught on video last summer, when he was just turning about 15 months.  It was so exciting to experience this first with him when we had missed out on so many others.

And now look at him!

Our beautiful boy has been such a blessing to us and we couldn't have gotten to this point without the support of our family and friends and the hard work of our social worker, as well as J's Korean social worker.  We have absolutely loved this past year.  There have been some times that have been less enjoyable than others, but at those times I try to remember that there are other couples out there that would give a lot to be in our shoes...and I speak from experience, from being on that side of things.  I love the fact that our son has been home for a year.  I love having gotten to know him and seen his infectious personality emerge and shine.  I love his giggle.  I love when he leans over in his chair with his arms reaching and demands an "ug" (hug).  I love everything about this little boy, but most of all, I love the fact that he is my little boy.

Gotcha!

Just last week, Dr. Kim, the founder of ESWS, which is the Korean adoption agency we worked with, passed away.  We were not fortunate enough to meet him when we were there to get J, but we will be forever grateful to this wonderful man.  Because of what he began, Chris, J, and I were brought together as a family.  And that's the best gift.  Ever.

First Meeting with Baby J

He takes after his appa (daddy) in liking fish.

Here are a few pictures of our first meeting with baby J. The foster mother handed him right over to Chris and he did great ... he was all smiles and giggles. I still cannot get the video uploaded to the blog, but here are some pictures!!! He still has a LOT of hair.

We've met up with another couple who are picking up their child.  Their schedule is the same as ours; we pick up our children at the same time on Thursday and actually have the exact same flight back to Chicago on Friday!!!  I think we have made some lifelong friends.  Their son is 10 days older than ours.

And our new lives begin!

The flight is booked, the hotel is (finally!) booked, and the bags are packed, ready to go!!  We will meet Baby J at 10am on Monday in Seoul, which is 8pm Sunday night back here.  It's really here, we're really going, and he's really going to be ours!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I probably won't be on the computer much while we're there, but I will try to give a couple of updates throughout our stay.  My heart is pounding...I think it's finally sinking in.  :-)

7 month anniversary...and counting

So, Sunday will be 7 months since we saw this picture for the first time, the cutest little boy in the world, literally (at least in our opinion!).

We can't believe it's been 7 months already and yet, we are still waiting for that final call to tell us to hop on a plane and go to Korea to finally unite our family!  If someone would have told us back in October that we would not be celebrating Mother's Day 2010 with our child at home, I would have laughed at them...now it's our reality.  I want to scream at someone, hit something, and cry all at once, but what good will that do?   It won't get our baby home any sooner; no one we know has any control over what still needs to happen in Korea to get our son paper-ready to travel.   It is also frustrating in that, if we decide we want to adopt again, we have to wait until this adoption is final before getting back on any adoption list.  With Korea, we foster our son for 6 months after he comes home, until we can make the adoption official in the US.  Only then will an adoption agency place us back on their list.  With the slow down in the adoption process over the last year, we are going to be cutting it close with the age limit issue that many countries have, if adopting a second child is what we decide to do.  WE want to be the ones to decide if we will adopt again, not have the decision taken away from us because we aged out of the process!

We are also hoping to hear some news from the director of our adoption agency, who just got back from Korea this past weekend.  She is supposed to send out a general email this week to let us know any news that she found out when she went over.  Nothing yet, but the week's not over yet.  We're also hoping that maybe she brought a whole bunch of pictures back with her for all the waiting families and we'll be getting something in the mail soon!   I am hoping for some pictures from Baby J's first birthday, maybe even some video of him?!  Wouldn't that be awesome?!?!  We are getting closer to that coveted travel call, as a friend of mine just left on Monday to pick up her son whose referral was only one month before ours!!   Let's keep those TCs rolling so we don't miss any more "firsts."

On to some happier news now, my wish book for the quilt is finally complete!!!  Chris surprised me by doing his wish sometime over the last week.   He asked me when was the last time I had looked in the album, which was actually towards the end of last week.  When I rushed upstairs to peek at it again, he had placed his wish on the first page, which I had been saving for him.  I read it and could not keep the (happy) tears contained.  This little boy is loved so much already and we're going to pour it on him when we finally get him in our arms...we can't wait!!!!!  It's so nice to have that project completed, especially since the quilt has been done for a couple of months now!

Just reading it again brings tears to my eyes.  I look forward to the days I see my guys together doing father-son activities, or when our son is imitating his dad, looking up to him to teach him how to do "guy stuff."  My heart rejoices that I will finally be able to give my wonderful husband that gift...maybe not the way we were expecting it to happen in the beginning, but the way it was meant to be.

Now for a few pictures of my new nephew, E.:

"the ND kid"

Big brother C (he looks thrilled, doesn't he?), and baby E

those of the family who could make it to the hospital, welcoming E to the world!!

I tried uploading some video of the dogs again, but it's not working.  I'll have to figure out either what I did last time to get it to upload, or what I did wrong this time that it didn't.  Hmmmmm...any suggestions?

We got the update...

...today!!  He now weighs 19.4 lbs and is 28.8 inches tall.  Not a picky eater, unlike his dad!  He's sleeping well and likes to play in the water during his baths.  He stands on his own for short periods and walks while holding on to someone.  We can't wait to meet him!!!

11 month pictures!!

Was I right, or what?!  As I said in my previous post, as soon as I wrote something on here, I felt we would then get some mail.  And look what we found in the mailbox yesterday...

He looks like he's getting so big!!!  We did not get an update on him, though.  :(  I'm going to try to find out some answers tomorrow from our agency's director.  Maybe since he's so close to his birthday, they are waiting for that milestone?  But I find it odd that, even though we requested the information, they did not send it this time.  I know someone who requested an update right before their child's 11-month check-up and they got an answer right away.  I know I shouldn't be thinking this, but part of me is wondering why they aren't giving us any information and I'm starting to worry a bit.  He's not "ours" until we get on the plane with him to come home.  I know I'm being paranoid, but I have that right as his mama!!  Don't get me wrong, we LOVE getting the pictures, but we also (understandably, I hope) want to know more about him, too.  *sigh*  Maybe next month.

(This really was supposed to be a happy post, but I'm sick and tired of not having gotten any written update on him since our referral 6 months ago while others seem to get them on a fairly regular basis.  I think the children's SWs should give out standardized information to all adoptive parents...but that's easy for me to say when I'm not the one doing the work!)

6 months ago...

...we saw our son's face for the first time!  We were so excited to have finally gotten "the call" that told us we would shortly be a family of three.  And even though that "short" time has now stretched out to a much longer wait than anyone had anticipated, we are still waiting anxiously and with hearts full of love for our little guy to get home!  We did request a physical update on Baby J a month ago since we have only had updated pictures and he's almost one year old, but so far we haven't heard anything from the agency about whether or not that request is going to be granted. (I'm keeping my fingers crossed and saying my prayers!)  Other families have received updated information along with their pictures, so it seems some Korean SWs add this info and some don't.  It's frustrating and I wish they all had the same system of updating adoptive parents, but at least we've received pictures, for which we're very thankful.  Maybe by writing this, we'll get something in the mail soon!!  I am trying to stay positive now, as I know I won't be able to in less than two weeks when my little boy turns one.  I'm ready to hold that precious boy in my arms and fulfill my dream of being a mom in person!  Come on, Mr. Mailman...

11 months old today

Our sweet Baby J is 11 months old today!!  We can't believe that he's already that old and in just one month, he'll be one year old!  And we are nowhere closer to knowing when we will finally get to meet him and bring him home.  I wish it wasn't so expensive to fly over there (not to mention how long a flight it is!) so that we could at least go meet him and get to experience his baby stage.  But it would be way too heart wrenching to have to leave him there and come back without him.  So, we will wait, but not necessarily patiently...who said we had to be patient?!  I'm hoping we might get some more pictures in about 2 weeks; it seems like they tend to send out updates after the monthly check-up.  I'm really praying hard that we finally get some physical updates as well; I would love love love to know how big he is and exactly how much he has grown!!!!!  And, of course, any other information they would like to send would be welcome!!

My blog friend, A., sent her husband to Korea yesterday to pick up their son!!!  He is exactly 3 months older than our J, which yes, makes him 14 months old today.  I'm hoping they will be a good resource for me and Chris once we get Baby J home, what with our children being a little older than the norm for Korea when they get home, at least in the past.  I am so excited for them; they have waited a long time to finally have this day here!

I want you home, son!  Sending my love over the miles and wrapping it around you to keep you safe and warm!  We are one day closer to the day we meet and become a forever family.

10 month pictures...YEAH!!!!

I met Chris at a restaurant after I got off work yesterday.  As I sat down across from him, he pulled out a flyer for a new quilting store opening up in the next town over and thought I would be interested in seeing it.  I thought that a little odd, that he had actually brought that out to eat to show me instead of waiting until we got home.  But okay, whatever.  As I was looking at it, I told him, "You know, I actually thought you were going to pull out a big package or something" (you know, from KOREA!).  He then reached down again to the seat next to him and places something on the table, saying "You mean, like this?":

I almost shrieked out loud!  I did make enough noise that the people across the aisle turned to look at us, but I.didn't.care.  I was looking at a new picture of our boy!  And he was smiling!  And wearing the shirt we sent in his care package from January.  (The soft book is also one we sent.)  Then Chris says "Or how about this?"  Out came another picture:

Again, big smile!  I'm jumping up and down in my seat by this time!!  It looks like he is sitting up on his own without leaning against anything, which is awesome.  (I also thinks it looks like one of those Olan Mills(?) photos.)  And to make things even better, Chris pulled out another picture:

Every time I see this one, I start laughing because it looks like he just has a huge grin behind that pacifier!!  What a sweet, happy little boy he is!  Can't wait to get my hands on him!!

Enjoy the pictures...I know I am!!!!

Good Omen

So yesterday I decided to try to organize some of the gifts we have received for Baby J.  In order to do that, I did a couple loads of baby laundry (never thought I would actually like doing laundry!  ha!).  And instead of putting the items away that we are planning on taking to Korea with us when we travel, I started packing his suitcase...yep, I've already started packing!!  But you know, I think it was an omen because today one of my waiting friends finally got the EP (emigration permit) for their son!!!!  Happy day, A.!!!!!  She took over one of our first two care packages at the end of last year.  I am soooo excited to hear her news; she has waited such a long time for this (the end of February will be 8 months from their referral).  So maybe I should start packing mine and Chris' bags now, if that will get more EPs rolling in!  Here's a shot at what I have packed so far:

We're not really sure what we'll need, so we'll have to take a bit of everything.  Come on, EPs!!!!!  I can be ready quickly!!

10 months old!

Our baby boy is 10 months old today!!!!  Happy Valentine's Day to us all!  We're very excited because a friend of a friend is taking over another care package for us when she travels back to Korea.

We sent over a pair of little jeans and a Cardinals sweater, as well as a small stuffed toy, teething ring, and pacifier (since we know he likes those from the last pictures of him we received!).  And of course, a disposable camera!  We're hoping and praying like crazy that we will be able to travel to get him before he turns one, but we still have not heard any news.   Aaaarrrrggghhh!!!  This weekend was the Korean New Year so we're hoping maybe we will hear news about EPs and travel calls in the next week or two, which will mean things are starting to move for everyone.  I can't wait to hold that little boy and stare at his sweet face in person, rather than at a well-worn picture!

We're looking forward to you, Baby J.  Sweet dreams tonight.  Love you, Mama and Papa

Baby Shower Pictures!!!!

So here are the promised pictures from the baby shower that my sisters threw for me this past weekend.  It was so much fun and I am so thankful for everyone that could come!  We missed those of you that could not make it, but rest assured that you were thought of.  Be warned, this is a long post, but mostly pictures.  Enjoy!!  I know I did!!

C. was looking at our new pictures of Baby J.  He would take one and hold it in both hands, very carefully, and just gaze at the picture.  He would then clearly say J's name out loud.  We know he's gonna love his cousin!!

My good friend from high school was a surprise acceptance to the shower.  Laura spent the weekend at our house and we visited, drank wine, and just loved seeing each other again.  It's been too long, Laura, and we should do this more often!!  Great to have you here!

I know I look sappy here, but it's a good picture of Chris smiling...it also looks like I have something blue in my hair, but at least it matches my outfit.  ha!

Some fancy photography by my sister, who was manning the camera for the party.

the party favors.  each blue-tinted rice krispy square had a laminated picture of baby J tied to it.  cute!

the table, minus the ice cream cake still in the freezer.  My younger sister made the cake in this picture.  Good job, Becky!!  Tasted great!

the gift pile.  What amazing family and friends we have!  Thank you for helping us get prepared for Baby J to come home.

My surprises.  Laura drove 6 hours to celebrate the weekend with me; thanks, girlfriend!  And my Aunt Lori just walked into the room.  I had no clue she was coming; they had all kept it a secret.  Good job, guys, I was completely surprised!

most of the group that came to the shower.  Thank you to all the ladies for making this day so special!

These pj's are 2T, if you can believe that!!  They look so big, but Baby J will grow into them soon enough, I've been told!

C. had just woken up from his nap, but the boy likes having his picture taken.  You can't tell, but someone told him to say "cheese," and even though he was still half-asleep, he mumbled "cheeeeese."  What a character!

"hmmm, nobody's around...how much of this can I get in to and eat?!?!"  (don't worry, no child in this picture was actually alone at this table!)

cutting the ice cream cake

after the party, someone got to play with a few of the toys...

he had a blast!

seems like my nephew is always eating!

but at least he enjoys it all!

stopping to cheese for the camera.

3 sisters...

...3 expectant mamas!!!

(Baby J's picture is just over my shoulder, so we've got all of us and our babies in the picture!)

VERY fun day!!!!  Thanks again to everyone who could celebrate it with me and special thanks to my wonderful sisters for planning the whole thing from two states away!!  Love you guys!

Four Months and counting...

Yesterday was four months since we received our referral!!  And from the pictures that we have gotten of Baby J in the last month, he has grown and changed so much.  We can't wait to get that Travel Call.  Still no news, for us or from any of our adoption friends waiting for their travel calls!  We are all just hoping, praying, and waiting for that magical call that will allow us to go meet our children and bring them home.  They cannot come soon enough!!
Pictures from my first baby shower coming soon...

More new pictures!!!!

My friend Beth, who went to visit her son in Korea this month and took a care package over for us, returned with something even more precious...more pictures that Baby J's foster mom took for us!!!!!  Our sons have the same social worker in Korea and she gave Beth a packet of photos before she left.  We had no idea they were coming until she got home and told us.  I'm pretty sure the foster mother got the hint that we wanted her to take pictures when I've sent a disposable camera with every. single. care package we've sent over!!  It has not been the norm, from what I've heard, to receive updated pictures and we're not sure if this is an indication that things will be taking longer.   Regardless, we are just ecstatic to have more pictures of J (TEN!!!!) in time for the first baby shower, which is today!!!
Here are the 6 that we've scanned in:

I cannot wait to get this sweet baby boy home in my arms!!!  We love you!!