So, I am having a hard time right now dealing with "the wait." It has been hard recently thinking about how much Baby J is growing and changing halfway around the world from us. Getting the recent photos of him was such a great gift, but heartbreaking because we are seeing in him the changes that have taken place in just three months!! What will happen in the next 3 months, if we have to wait that long to get him?
I have especially had a hard time today. I received the quarterly email from the head of our agency saying that the families with May referrals from 2009 will hopefully get to travel to pick up their children at the end of February!!! After reading that, my heart hurts and feels so heavy. This means that, with our October referral, it will be a much longer wait than we had been hoping for. I have to come to the realization that we may not meet our son until close to, or even after, his first birthday in mid-April. (tears) That makes me feel so sad and hopeless at this stage of the waiting, when we don't get any information or answers from our agency. I cannot accept that yet in my heart, though. I keep hoping and praying that things will start moving faster. I am not sure that this is wise, but I cannot convince myself that, with everything we've been through already, we will be made to wait even longer to finally become parents. Our paperwork is in Korea; why can't they just push this through for everyone who has already been paired with a child and get them to their forever homes?! I am waiting here with a heart full of love and arms devoid of a child's warmth. I just want my child home. Now.
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4 comments:
Hang in there Rita...I'm praying for you...for all of us waiting to be able to have our babies home with us soon.
I was so sad for all of you with your babies waiting to come home after reading the newsletter today. I am praying that there will be some movement soon.
((Hugs)) I am so sorry, Rita. I know how you are feeling right now. I wish I had some wise words for you but I just don't. This wait is so hard and I struggle to understand it every day. Just keep looking at those beautiful pictures of baby J and know that he is warm, safe, and receiving lots of love and one-on-one attention. I'm trying to keep my thoughts realistic these days... but a miracle sure would be wonderful, wouldn't it? My prayers are with all of the waiters - I'm hoping we see some positive signs of 'movement' soon. Hang in there. Even though our babies are getting a little older in Korea, they still have a lifetime to be with their forever families.
Thinking of you during this laboring waiting period. Our prayers for your family to be together soon.
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