National Infertility Awareness Week

This week is National Infertility Awareness week. Infertility affects 7.3 million people in the U.S. This figure represents 12% of women of childbearing age, or 1 in 8 couples. (2002 National Survey of Family Growth).

We are one of those couples.  And although we don't talk about it much anymore, especially since J has been home, infertility has (obviously) played a large part in how we came to be parents.  I never thought I would say that there would come a day that I would be grateful for all the heartbreak that we went through, but I can not imagine not being mommy to our son.

But as other bloggy friends of mine have written recently, the wound of infertility runs deep and the jealousy and sadness that goes with it can still hit pretty hard at times.  Which I hate.  Who wants to be the "downer" when everyone else is happy??  The dream of creating a child might lessen over time, but it can flare up at any moment.  It never goes away, no matter how happy you are for other people; that dream fades, but stays with you even when you've created a family through adoption.  Each month, even though I know better, a small part of my heart is disappointed.  I would love to experience being pregnant.  I would love to give my husband the gift of creating our child, and our son the gift of a sibling.  The wounds of infertility still run deep and take a long while to heal. 

But these wounds also remind us of our journey, what we have learned along the way, and have made us into the people we are today.  We have been through a lot as a couple and have learned more about each other than some people do who have been together years longer than us.  Because of infertility, we knew we wanted to be parents, and that it was not the "how" but the end result that was the most important thing for us.  

The infertility road is long and difficult, with twists and turns and dead-ends when you least expect them.  It is isolating and lonely because it is not a subject that people discuss openly.  It can, at times, define you and how you feel about yourself.  It can be overwhelming.  And most of the time, "it just plain sucks," as a friend of mine put it.  And if you get to the end of your infertility road and there just aren't any answers, it can leave you feeling frustrated and unsure of who you are.

This week is to achieve awareness for those of us who have gone, or are going through, infertility.  You are NOT alone.  It IS okay to talk about it.  The more I have talked with others, the more I have come to realize that there are so many other people out there who have stories to tell.  They aren't all quite the same, but the healing begins with the telling.  And chances are, if you have not traveled this road yourself, you probably know someone who has.