Does that make me selfish?

All this mess with the EP issues and current wait times has got me thinking recently.

Even though I would dearly love a sibling call for my son's sake, part of me hopes we don't get one because I don't think I would be able to get through the subsequent wait with the strength and grace that I see from others who are waiting now.

I. hate. waiting.

I am not an extremely patient person.

And I hate not being in control, especially about something so important.

Could I even love another child as much as I love my first-born, my sweetie-pie?

Would I want to disrupt the normal that has become our family since our son joined it almost two years ago?  Would another child fit into our family as well as he does?

Would it be easier to wait a second time since I have a child in my arms already?  I don't know.  Maybe.  I might not have quite the time to obsess about what's going on like I did with our first adoption (although you can bet I would make the time!), but that would definitely not make up for the fact that I would know part of our family was not present.

Does this all make me sound selfish?  I don't know.  Maybe.  But those are my honest thoughts.

That's not to say, if given the opportunity, that we would ever turn down a sibling call.  There would be no question about wanting to parent that child as well.  We would be thrilled!

Although the wait to have that child in our arms would be agonizing.

And I think we would both be pretty terrified of what our "new normal" would become after that.

Guess that makes us regular ol' parents, though, huh?